Making
a Resolution That Matters.
To make resolutions that matter, don't look forward. Look back.
Fast Company,
Issue 79, February 2004, page 92.
By now, about half of all New
Year's resolutions have already been broken. It is probably a good
time to revisit your goals and think about what you really want to
change this year.
Take a deep breath. Take a deeper
breath.
I want you to imagine that you're
95 years old. Before taking your last breath, however, you're given a
great gift: the ability to travel back in time--the ability to talk to
the person who is reading this column, the ability to help this person
be a better professional and lead a better life.
The 95-year-old you understands
what was really important and what wasn't, what mattered and what
didn't, what counted and what didn't really count. What advice would
this wise "old you" have for the "you" who is
reading this page?
Take a few seconds and answer this
question on two levels: personal and professional. Jot down a few
words that capture what the old you would be saying to the younger you
that is here today.
My suggestion is simple. Just do
whatever you wrote down. Make that your resolution for this year and
next.
A friend of mine actually had the
chance to interview people who were dying and ask them what advice
they would have had for themselves. The answers he got were
surprising.
One recurring theme was to
"reflect upon life, to find happiness and meaning now," not
next month or next year. The great Western Disease lies in the phrase,
"I will be happy when . . ." The wise old you has finally
realized that the next promotion, the next achievement, or the corner
office really won't change your world that much. Many older people say
they were so wrapped up in looking for what they didn't have that they
seldom appreciated what they did have. They often wish they would have
taken more time to enjoy it.
Another common response revolved
around friends and family. You may work for a wonderful company, and
you may think that your contribution to that organization is very
important. When you are 95 years old and you look at the people around
your deathbed, very few of your fellow employees will be waving
good-bye. Your friends and family will probably be the only people who
care. Appreciate them now and share a large part of your life with
them.
Older people offer other valuable
advice: "Follow your dreams." Figure out your true purpose
in life, and go for it! This doesn't apply just to big dreams; it is
also true for little dreams. Buy the sports car you always wanted, go
to that exotic locale you always imagined yourself visiting, learn to
play the guitar or the piano. If some think your vision of a
well-lived life is a bit offbeat or even goofy, who cares? It isn't
their life. It's yours. Old people who pursued their dreams are always
happier with their lives. Few of us will achieve all of our dreams.
Some will always be elusive. So the key question is not, "Did I
make all of my dreams come true?" The key question is, "Did
I try?"
I just finished a major research
project involving more than 200 high-potential leaders from 120
companies around the world. Each company could nominate only two
future leaders, the very brightest of its young stars. These are the
kinds of people who could jump at a moment's notice to better-paying
positions elsewhere. We asked each of them a simple question: "If
you stay in this company, why are you going to stay?"
The following are the top three
answers.
"I am finding meaning and
happiness now. The work is exciting and I love what I am doing."
"I like the people. They are
my friends. This feels like a team. It feels like a family. I could
make more money working with other people, but I don't want to leave
the people here."
"I can follow my dreams. This
organization is giving me a chance to do what I really want to do in
life."
The answers were never about the
money. They were always about the satisfaction. When my friend asked
people on their deathbeds what was important to them, they gave
exactly the same answers as the high-potential leaders I interviewed.
So do the reverse New Year's
resolution. Don't look ahead. Look behind. Know that you need to be
happy now, to enjoy your friends and family, to follow your dreams.
This is good advice for everyone who wants a fulfilling career. It's
also great advice for everyone who wants to live a meaningful life.